Tuesday, 5 January 2016

Belgium 2016 - Astrid Destuyver – Everyway That I Can

The Belgian Eurosong process began at the weekend. It's one of those knockout shows, where over a span of weeks you'll get to know all the contestants intimately, and begin to judge them on their personality as much as their ability - which of course will all count for nothing when they get their big three international minutes in May.

The premise for the first show was that our five moderately well-known troubadors would re-imagine (ie: strip the life and charm out of) well known Eurovision songs - and man alive was it a cringeworthy watch. Somehow Adil Aarab managed to be the best of a bad bunch with his surprisingly servicable Hold Me Now, but the others were knuckle-gnawingly poor.

Amaryllis drained every last inch of excitement out of Euphoria, and even a quartet of ludicrously misplaced dancers on strings at the end couldn't save her; Tom bevelled all the edges off Rhythm Inside to leave naught but a turgid pub band sludge; and Laura rattled out Dum Tek Tek with all the skill of a Euroclub karaoke marauder after the fifth prosecco.

But it is Astrid here who really made the blod clot. Her empty version of Everyway That I Can wrenched every shred of joy from the song, reducing it to a zomboid piano bar stumble-through that you half expect to turn up on and commercial for a caring bank or a big shop at Christmas. And if her delivery wasn't cloying enough, the little cutesy manouvre towards the lad at the ivories at the end had us rushing for the insulin. Man, that stage must have been sticky at the end of that over-sugared confection.

Don't worry though, because things, surely, can only get better?

1 comment:

  1. I thought that Astrid gave the best performance of the night - she was never going to be able to do a direct copy of 'Everyway That I Can' with her background and voice. Unfortunately Laura did a 'Stars In Their Eyes' rendition and a worse vocal than Hadise (and that's saying something!). To be fair to all of them, I'm sure that their own songs will be far, far better...hopefully!