Friday, 3 November 2017

San Marino 2018 – Andi Taranik – Space

The Sanmarinese 1-in-360 process really isn’t going as well as hoped. While there were suggestions that the entrance fee would put off most of the usual tricksters, trolls and mentalists, what it actually appears to have done is hone the aspirants down into only the most desperate, insistant or utterly unknowing inviduals on this planet. And I know, because I went through all 200-or-so plucky triers who have so far submitted their wares to the website. And boy it was a long and painful process.

At least two thirds of this year’s hopefuls are self-filmed, usually in their bedroom or bathroom, with their phone set to portrait and singing quietly enough so that they don’t disturb their mum from watching TV in the next room. They’re also usually singing a song of some Eurovision heritage. There are countless Phoenix’s struggling to rise from the flames, a large number of space rockets failing to get out of orbit, and enough 1944’s to crack every window in a shopping mall.

Most of the rest are filmed from the back of a room while they were taking part in some kind of karaoke, talent contest, or shopping centre event. On top of that there are a few clips taken from televised singing shows that, for the most part, I would be surprised if the artist featured had actually submitted themselves.

And of course there are the pranksters – folks who’ve invested a small sum of their own hard-earned cash to send in clips of internet sensations of the past (including the peerless Maxine Swaby), or real actual Eurovision songs. SM’s very own Valentina has already made more than one appearance on the list, only to be swiftly removed.

Indeed, so deep is the barrel that had been scraped that when an actual reasonably well-produced video crops up it feels so startling and disarming that it doesn’t feel like you’re looking at something from the same competition. Although having said that, they’re generally either still terrible, Spanish, or so unhinged that they’re never going to get more than a fistful of votes.

And so it is that I bring you to young Andi here. I’m not showing you his effort out of any kind of mockery, but as an example of a typical entry to this deeply flawed competition so far. I’m quite sure that he’s incredibly earnest about his efforts, and clearly deeply loves the song that he’s singing. It’s just that he doesn’t really have the required skills just yet to carry it off in a public place – let alone his own bedroom studio. But despite all that this video has been one of the most viewed of them all so far. Which I suspect may indicate the seriousness with which people at large are taking this whole process so far.

But I wish him well – just as I wish well all of the poor young interns at SM telly who’ll have to sift through all these videos in order to hone it down into any kind of shortlist. Our thoughts are with you.


  1. As one of my favorite drag queen Coco Peru says quite often... "this bothers me." and it does. Deeply. But just think how many songs out the more-than-2000 Melodifestivalen songs submitted are performances like this one...

  2. Disturbing. Played on my iPhone, it sounds like he has called me to sing... I mean speak the lyric down the phone at me.

  3. Is it just me or does this sound like Stephen Hawking trying to cover Montenegro's 2017 entry?

    Thanks for that Roy - I needed a good laugh this evening!

  4. I'm surprised at the technical quality of many videos. Even some of the singers who potentially seem quite good have gone and entered badly shot video, gigs filmed by their mate holding an iPhone, or a distant camera on a wonky tripod at the side of the stage. And poor audio quality! (Do people never listen and wonder if they should not use a video where the vocals are distorted or the background noise is louder than the singer?)

    I have two faves though - one is the guy bravely performing to a completely empty dance floor (a couple of mates off-camera cheer at the end), and the other is a girl who is singing to her laptop as she reads the lyrics off the screen - but for a twist, it's shot with a second camera, in profile, up her nose.

  5. The €4.99 to enter is a totally separate way in to the competition - all of the ones on the site have paid nothing, and instead are trying to get 100 'likes' in order to make it to the next stage of the competition.

    1. 1in360 shows all videos, no matter if €4.99 or not