As most of you will doubtlessly have been trying to avoid and deny all knowledge of, it's the final of Junior Eurovision in Tblisi this afternoon. But wait! I'm here to brighten your afternoon just a little bit… don't leave…!
For the eight of you that are still reading, this much maligned contest has had an over arching tendency to be a bit serious over the last couple of years, packed as it is with mid-teens in grown up frocks singing emotive ballads that their mums really wrote, or terrifying East European tots in JonBenét make up who've already spend most of their tender years in the mini-song festival sausage machine.
But this contest used to be packed with unhinged performances from curious little characters from around the continent. So thank heavens for Gianluca here, who has managed to pack and entire stage musical of comedy japes into his three minutes of fun. He's not expected to come anywhere near the top rankings as it stands, but his infectious chorus and ridiculous charm might just bag him a late run at the title - especially if the good people of Malta have had the spambots on full VPN alert in the televote.
Actually, are we sure that our boy here isn't actually a 45-year-old midget? Someone's going to try it one year, surely?