We have, it seems, become the new Switzerland. Every other day I'm getting sent a poorly made YouTube video of someone singing a lumpy pop song in front of some furniture - every one of them convinced that they, and only they, can reverse the trend and save us from yet more Eurovision shame.
As if things on this septic isle weren't bad enough already.
This latest iteration shows us a chubby lad in a suit playing pool and lustily belting out a number apparently destined for Bucks Fizz. How do I know that? The songwriter keeps telling us in a garish font throughout the video. This is how things are now, isn't it. Where did it all go so, so wrong...?