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Avast me hearties! A whole new Eurovision season has begun. And this year we start off where the whole thing ended last time round - in Ukraine. Kinda.
Prospective contestants seem to be keeping their cards close to their chests this term, as scarcely a peep has yet escaped from the usual outsider composers who start oozing their curious wares across the internets the very second the September threshold has passed. That is except repeat offender John Eaton here. His name pops up from time in dispatches, but this year's he's gone the whole hog and has decided to submit a song for the reigning champs, putting a number of efforts onto his YouTube channel and encouraging us to suggest our faves.
And oh boy, are there some special treats on display!
OK, so we really shouldn't make fun of somebody who clearly has the best of intentions, but man alive has he misread the room. Take the song I've posted here - a jaunty little bit of rockin' boogie… that appears to be about literal bridges on fire, and includes lines as eye-popping as "I can hear the sounds, exploding our towns" and "I can smell the smoke, causing me to choke"!
And that's not all. Take a wander through the other songs in consideration on his channel and you'll find a song called Go, Go, Go that attempts to sound a bit Ukrainian with synthesised wood whistles and the like, while Slava Ukraini! just goes the whole hog, with lines like "May we always, always remain free, through Kyiv through Kherson and the Black Sea". Yes, really!
Now we're not entirely sure quite where John is from, but it's a fair bet that he's not actually from Ukraine. And this of all years one suspects that they'll be sending something pretty special that fully reflects their rich culture and massive struggled. So while we applaud John for giving it a go, we suspect we already know how his stab at Eurovision glory is going to go this year. Bless him.
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