North Macedonia 2022 - Viktor Apostolovski - Superman

(Click here if you can't see the panel above - but you probably won't thank us…)

It's a pretty rare event where a Eurovision hopeful can make you feel physically dirty, but every now and again on pops along that sees you dashing for the wire brush and Dettol before the first chorus is out. There's plenty that have left us sad, disappointed or just plain angry over the years, but with this one we just felt soiled.

Could it be because the singer himself has the smug look and demeanour of a gropey cousin at a shit wedding? Maybe it's the pure pain of some of the rhyming couplets - and the early crowbarring in of the hoary old fave 'fire/desire'? Or perhaps it's just the weak and half-hearted lift of Party Rock Anthem in the chorus? There's so many filthy ingredients that it's hard to list them all, but somehow the whole manages to become more than the sum of its parts, and has left us with a right binfire of a three minutes.

But it gets worse. It seems like there's been some kind of a song famine in the honourable republic this year, and this one stands a more than decent chance of sliding its way through to Turin. Let's hope the traditionally more staid Macedonians elect to send something more dull and deliberate instead. Because the alternative doesn't bear thinking about.