Ukraine 2017 - Kohlya Buchak - I Am Sexy

(Click here for some awkward disco fun time…)

There's time in the whole Eurovision selection process that I look forward to with glee each year. It's that point in the process where performers who've got themselves into a wildcard round, or who have even just made the super long list, blag their way onto the local breakfast programmes to awkwardly display their wares. Our old mate Sasha Bognobov is an old hand at the game, while it seems in inescapable rite of passage in Estonia.

But now, it appears, that the concept had crossed the borders into Ukraine – and oh boy what a treat they've served us. After a slightly uncomfortable micro-interview the boy Buchak here launches into his flimsy discopop stomper, with a couple of winsome lasses who look like they've come straight from the gym behind them - all the while surrounded by the cosy pastels of the studio scenery.

It bounces along amiably-yet-unremarkably until two things happen. The first sees him break into some fractured English couplets in the chorus, one of which sounds as though he's calling my name (has he been told?), the other comes just a few seconds from the end, just when you're about to turn it off. We won't spoil the fun, but you'll be gnawing at your knuckle the moment it kicks in.

But do we think it's going to help win him votes in the Ukrainian wildcard round? I guess that all depends on who his parents are…