Switzerland 2012 - Carlos Santoo feat Laila – Siesta Girl

You can always expect a few freakazoid efforts when a national selection process is open to everyone, but there have been few (outside of Moldova, at least) that have proved as creepy and moderately molestoid as this little gem.

Witness as the slightly seedy Mr Santoo, a resident of the out-of-the-way Swiss border town of Buchs (Leichtenstein is only a hork and a spit away), prowls around his back garden in a badly-washed dressing gown, trying to lure the unsuspecting Laila into his bed. It's like some kind of a sexed up snuff video, only with a slightly worse soundtrack!

To experience the full pervy horror, click this link…

Videos from YouTube. Underlying © lays with the owners of the clips.

Switzerland 2012 - No Mercy - Bet Your Ass On It

I must admit, when I heard that Switzerland's premier Motorhead tribute act were throwing their greasy stetson into the Eurovision ring I almost got a little excited. Sadly their ham-throated singer affects possibly the worst Lemmy impersonation known to man, and their sub-pub rock song confirms that they are better off sticking to the covers.

We can only dream one day that the real Motorhead represent the UK one day. I guess that's only me, then.

Videos from YouTube. Underlying © lays with the owners of the clips.

Switzerland 2012 - Ruth Juon und Evi Juon - Joy of Paradise

There are 221 songs in the Swiss selection, and despite the huge barrage of home made tunes, there are very few that make you stop what you're doing and just stare. So let me introduce you to Ruth and Evi Juon - already one of the most staggering songs of the year...

Click here to see the full beauty

Videos from YouTube. Underlying © lays with the owners of the clips.

Switzerland 2012 - Same Difference - Music

Ever wonder what happened to the slightly cloying Portsmouth brother and sister act Same Difference? You know, the ones who did better than anyone imagined and ended up as a High School Musical trib act for a bit…

Well they've got a song in the longlist for the Swiss Eurovision selection process. Showbiz, eh!


See their hastily cobbled together video - and maybe even vote for them - here…

Videos from YouTube. Underlying © lays with the owners of the clips.

Switzerland 2012 - Lys Assia - C'était Ma Vie

2012? Already? The whole process has started comically early for perennial Eurovision under-achievers Switzerland, but among the fields of amateur hour dross their earlier stages have just thrown up, one song stands head and shoulders above the rest.

There may be better songs in their selection, and there may be songs who stand a much better chance at success, but they'd be absolute fools not to send this sentimental old slice of loveliness, sung by the 85-year-old winner of the first ever contest back in 1956, and written by Ralph Seigel and Jean Paul Cara, who've got a win each under their belts.

Her voice may be wobbly these days, but that's not the point. She's Eurovision through and through, and I can't think of anyone who would be more apt to take part in what could be the most interesting competition in years. Let's hope that the Swiss see sense for once and do the right thing.

Videos from YouTube. Underlying © lays with the owners of the clips.